Relationships, Career, empowerment

Reflection 44

Another trip around the sun and it’s been quite the ride. So many lessons, triumphs, heartbreaks, and surreal moments. Getting older is a precious gift, a privilege not to be taken lightly. My birthday for the last two years has been very lowkey with no real plans. For someone who has always enjoyed her special day with close friends, the last two have been solo. Last year Covid got me so I spent a week just trying to breathe. This year was different so very different. I ran a million trip scenarios through my head and could never settle on one that felt right. Honestly all I feel this year is gratitude and that is what I decided to do. Sit, reflect and be grateful. Armed with a bag of blue crabs (for non-crab lovers, you don’t know what you’re missing) and a journal, I spent the majority of the day in quiet reflection. 

I thought about various events over the last year. Surviving covid with no lingering effects, leaving my team at work to join another, our annual family reunion, a wedding, the loss of my favorite aunt, my first trip to see my teams in Pensacola, girl’s trip to DR, epic Thanksgiving with the family, job promotion and returning to my former team, the sudden loss of my counterpart which knocked the wind out of me, leading a team through grief while grieving, challenges in my new role, career revelations, going all in for something I’ve wanted to do for 20 + years,  welcoming a new life, spending Easter with those that I feel most protected, and changing relationships.

Reflecting on all of this brought me to a few conclusions:

  • People are fickle
  • Life happens
  • Do more of what brings you joy

That’s it that’s all

People are fickle so be careful about allowing their opinions and thoughts to dictate how you operate and what actions you take. If you decide that you want to learn to swim and someone says they will join you. Don’t rearrange your schedule for them. Tell them your schedule and if they want to join, they will and if they don’t, they won’t. No matter what stick to your plan to achieve your goal.  Tomorrow the person may decide that they aren’t interested and now you’re thrown off because you’ve made unnecessary accommodations for them. That isn’t their fault, it’s yours. So often we want someone to accompany us on our journey and there is nothing wrong with that as long as we remember that it is OUR journey. Waiting for people to join you will keep you in the same place. Press on

People get married, divorced, lose loved ones, change cities, leave jobs, have mental health challenges. I could go on and on. And as long as we live in this fallen world life will always happen. And people need to be able to process all of these things the way that works best for them. There will always be something going on that brings sorrow, pain or uncertainty. We have to find the things that help us most in these moments. 

And then there is joy. What is joy…… depends on how you view it. And that’s the point, do more of what brings YOU joy.  If you’re not sure, think about the last thing you did that brought peace to your soul, that’s joy.  What makes your voice increase by octaves while your heart races and your eyes dance, that’s joy. Find your joy, it helps balance the fickleness of this world and all of its tomfoolery. Joy for me looks like, riding my bike, walking in the ocean, touring model homes, making my special hot chocolate, evenings on my patio with a glass of wine and music playing in the background. Joy is so personal and no one gets to tell you how to experience it.

I can’t say my 44th year was disastrous because that would be unfair. It had its share of challenges but it was also full of so many joyous moments. I’m grateful for all of it and my intention is and will continue to be to do more of what brings me joy.

What brings you joy? Feel free to share in the comments.

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