Findng my family again

Happy New Year! I’ve been absent for a while, enjoying my vacation. It was the best vacation I’ve had in a while. Eleven days off and so many plans. My mother laughs because I always need a vacation from my vacation. I literally am on the go the entire time I’m home. There are so many people I try to see in a short amount of time, but it is worth the fatigue. This trip was very special as I was able to really reconnect with my family. While I’m an only child I have a large extended family both blood and heart related. They are my core. In true “BBMC” AKA Bethel Bible Missionary Church style we can make any sad occasion a joyous reunion and we did.  I spent time with my extended family and had a much needed talk with my heart brother on Sunday. Sitting in a coffee shop for hours we caught up, sharing our struggles and plans for the future. I really missed him. Lunch with my oldest friend(over 30yrs) was a hoot as always. It’s amazing to know someone and grow with them . How we can grow in different directions but not grow apart is something I will never understand and I wouldn’t trade our friendship for the world. My time with my best friend is always my refueling station. It’s something about being in her home and talking that brings such peace to my soul.

The highlight of my trip however, was Christmas with my blood family in Atlanta. As I stated I have a large family. My grandparents had nine children and we have continued to be fruitful and multiply, literally. One would expect me to be comfortable with my family but I’ll admit I’ve always been a bit anxious around them. I’m used to peace and quiet all of the time so family events overwhelm me.   I panic about them to the point of almost making myself ill. So when I heard we were going to Atlanta to my aunt’s house and most of my aunts and my uncle were going to be there, I immediately started worrying.  It turned out to be the best family event since our cruise last year. We danced, we laughed, we ate and we loved each other. Every minute there was unforgettable and not because of drama, but because of love. All was right with world in those 24 hours and to think I could have missed all of it due to insecurity. I’m still on the journey to being fearless and this was a huge step for me. In the process of finding myself I’m finding my family again… I think I like it.