That Girl

I never wanted to be that girl. You know that girl. The girl who likes attention. The girl that loves to shop at the mall. The girl who loves to eat at upscale restaurants and have brunch every weekend. The girl who must have designer shoes and handbags in every style and color possible. The girl who must have her nails and feet done every two weeks. The girl who could do her own hair, but prefers to pay someone else. The girl who knows nothing about makeup, but is open to learning the difference between foundation and BB cream. The girl who would never think about covering her grays, but asks her hairdresser about natural dyes, just in case.

Yeah, that girl, I never wanted to be her. I promised myself that I would never be her. I’ve always thought that becoming her would mean I betrayed my true self. Over the last few years, I’ve experienced an inner struggle between who I am and that girl.  Every day I feel like I’m losing a piece of myself and it’s being replaced by some false prophet who I don’t recognize but really like. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am that girl. That girl is the part of me that I muzzled for so long because I didn’t feel that I deserved to be her. Well, I do deserve every part of that girl and all that she embodies. She is fierce, confident, silly, and full of life. I can truly say that I am unapologetically both halves of the same soul.  I love them both, the earthy nerd and the diva in training. There is a certain freedom in embracing your whole self not just the parts you think you’re worthy of being. So, I proudly accept being that girl from this day forward.

Now who’s joining me for brunch next weekend?