Friendships, Relationships

The 3 Fs of Friendship

Had the best time out this weekend with a friend. Yes I actually said friend. I’m learning to use that word sparingly. Not everyone is deserving of that word. I consider her to be a friend because I genuinely believe she is concerned about my well-being and  I am certainly concerned about her as well. We talked for hours and even though it had been months since we last saw each other it was as if we were never apart. That’s the thing about true friendships, there are no formalities , just familiarity and freedom.  I’m a very private person and I’m very cautious about who I let in my circle. I’ve never been the popular girl with all the friends and never will be, but  I’m okay with that. If I’ve learned nothing else,  I’ve learned the difference between associates and friends, the former always outnumbers the later. Associates stand on the outside of your circle not on the inside. Not that they aren’t good people, they just aren’t your trusted confidants. They know you on the surface level and often make judgments based on this. With friends, you share common interests. Not to say you have to like all the same things but you should have some areas that can be discussed or some activities to do without the primary focus being gossiping about other people. With friends there should be familiarity, you should be free to be yourself; expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. The other party should feel the same.  Your friends should be comfortable enough to come in your house, kick off their shoes, and help them themselves to your fridge 🙂  Your friends should be trustworthy, truthful, and supportive.  You should be able to know that your personal confidences will not be shared with everyone in the world and vice versa.  As I continue to develop my relationship skills, true friendships have become more important to me, but I still do proceed with caution as we all should. As I heard last night, not everyone should be privy to your heart. So with that being said, evaluate your friendships and first be clear on whether it is an association or a friendship. Next decide if it is of benefit to you. Then work on the structure of the friendship to ensure it’s stability and growth by communicating openly and honestly at all times. My best friend and I have a no judgment clause in our friend contract(JK, no contract). We are free to say whatever we feel to each other and be completely honest.  If you can find one person in your lifetime like this consider yourself lucky. 

Happy Monday!!